Lotuses & Catalysts: A Bensaro Saga
by Melene96
Summary: What happens when one action sets off a chain of actions? When Elliot abandoned Olivia, he unleashed a series of catalysts that led her to Nick Amaro, who forever changes the course of her life. Follow Nick and Olivia's journey from partners into something more, and brace yourself for a tragedy that reunites the SVU gang—past and present.
1. You Are My Sunshine

_**Author's Note**__: Hi everyone. As some of you may already know, I am a huge Bensaro fan (I also like Bensidy stories as well), since there aren't enough Nick/Olivia fics to go around, I decided to create one of my own. This is my first fanfic, so I would really appreciate your reviews and any __**constructive**_ _criticisms you may have._

_This is a Nick/Olivia fic all the way. I will be mentioning Elliot throughout the story,_ _**but all references made to E/O will be friendship related only.**_

_**Special thanks to my beta, Liv Cassidy, for taking time out of her busy schedule to critique my work.**_

_And now...on with the show. Enjoy!_

**Cat·a·lyst** - \'ka-til-ist\ - noun. An agent that provokes or speeds significant change or action.

(**Buddhist value:** Like a lotus flower that grows out of the mud and blossoms above the muddy water surface, we can rise above our sufferings of life.)

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray..." - Ricky Nelson_

_February 2, 2015 9:35 am—Church of St. Paul the Apostle_

The sky is streaked and swirls with gray clouds; the somber weather perfectly echoing the heavy mood of the day. The usual healthy glow of Olivia's tanned skin is marred by the deep frown that hangs across her face.

Nick wordlessly slips his hand into hers, interlocking their fingers, before giving hers a light squeeze. He instantly feels her grip tighten, and he pulls her into a loving embrace.

"Thank you for being here with me," Olivia whispers. "I don't know if I'd be able to get through today without you."

Olivia puts both arms around him and holds on for dear life, as she sobs into the crook of his neck and shakes uncontrollably. He rubs circles into her back in a vain attempt to calm her down.

"Liv...baby...breathe." He coaxes her as the sobs begin to turn into hiccups and eventually trail off altogether.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Nick questions, lightly caressing her cheek with one hand and her burgeoning bump with the other. "Maybe someone else should give the eulogy. You know that stress isn't good for you or the babies." He empathizes with her grief, but the health of his wife and his unborn twins are his utmost priority.

Olivia closes her eyes, brushing off his concern with a small wave of her hand, "I know you're only looking out for me, but I _have_ to do this. Today is heartbreaking enough, I don't want to reflect on this day years later, with any additional sadness or regret," she says wearily.

"I still don't think—"

She silences his concern with a sweet kiss, a strategy _he_ often uses when he wants to quickly and effectively quiet her. She runs her fingertips through his thick mane and firmly grips the base of his skull with both hands, slipping her tongue into his mouth. The kiss is intense and full of emotion; tender and loving mingled with the sour notes of sadness.

She pulls away, carefully scanning the area for onlookers. As much as she loves her overprotective husband, she feels somewhat guilty about sharing such a passionate kiss on this day.

"I'll be fine." she says, her voice wavering, as her mocha colored eyes meet his dark brown ones. They share a meaningful look, and he snakes his arm around her waist.

She steadies herself, doing her best to channel her inner "Badass Benson." She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to quell the choking sob in the back of her throat. "Alright, let's go. It's now or never." she says as they slowly make their way down the hall.

**A/N: This chapter is short, but it's supposed to be because it's setting the mood for the rest of the story. The rest of the chapters will be longer.**

** Feel free to leave a review!  
**


	2. The Promotion Catalyst

**Authors Note**: I want to thank everyone who read my fic, left a review, followed and/or added this story to your favorites—you guys are awesome!

Just a heads up, this story takes place in the future (2015), but the back story will be told in a series of flashbacks. The story will occasionally switch between the past and the present. Also, in my fic, outside of their brief hospital kiss from the Season 14 opener, and a couple of dates after that, Olivia and Cassidy were never in a relationship.

**Chapter 2 - The Promotion Catalyst**

Nick and Olivia began walking towards the podium at the front of the church. Nick notices that her posture is straightening, and she's regained the swagger in her step.

Just before they reached the podium, Nick steps in front of Olivia. He reaches for her left hand and lightly traces a heart into her palm with his thumb. It was their special code that they used at work, when they were still partners and sneaking around to conceal their relationship.

She looks up at him and beneath her steely cop facade, a small smile forms at the corners of her mouth.

"You'll be fine up there, Benson. You're the strongest woman I know," Nick says. He squeezes her hand once more, and then turns around to take his seat in the pews.

Captain Olivia Benson-Amaro walks up to the podium, dressed in her NYPD blues, her jacket fitting snugly over her growing stomach.

It's a packed house, and her red-rimmed eyes quickly sweep over the mourners in the church. The entire precinct is there; her fellow brothers (and sisters) are all dressed in their uniforms. Her eyes easily pick out her "family," as she spots the ever stoic Fin and Munch's grim face in the sea of blue hats and jackets.

Two rows behind them, she sees her two favorite former ADA's sitting next to each other. Alex, her forlorn eyes peeking out from behind her Robert Marc frames and Casey, her flaming red hair cascading over her shoulders; her full lips cast in a frown. Both women nod at Olivia, silently expressing their condolences.

Even after almost two years, sometimes it seems surreal to her that she's the SVU captain. If only Cragen could be here today—he'd be so proud. She remembers the day of her promotion like it was yesterday...

**Flashback **

**July 15, 2013 2:37pm - 16th Precinct**

"Nick, have I told you how badly your coffee sucks?" Olivia said as she popped a piece of gum in her mouth to mask the taste of the vile liquid. "It's almost like you go out of your way to make it taste this bad."

"Please, Benson, you just don't know real coffee when you taste it," Nick chided in his gruff New York accent. "Not everyone wants to drink your hoity-toity, gourmet, french hazelnut coffee, grown on the Swiss Alps or wherever the hell it's from. Your taste buds probably forgot what regular-ass coffee tastes like," he said matter-of-factly.

"For the record, **Amaro**," she said, putting extra emphasis on his last name, "The flavors are french vanilla and hazelnut, not french hazelnut, and I would hardly classify Dunkin' Donuts coffee as gourmet. But you're right about one thing, this is regular coffee—that tastes like ass," she quipped and walked back to her desk, as the precinct erupted in laughter.

Nick smiled as he sauntered his way over to her with a file in his hand. "I see you've got jokes, huh?" he said. He bends over slightly to hand her the file, deftly turning his head to the side, "You weren't complaining about my brewing skills last night," he whispers in her ear, grazing his arm against hers, as he placed the file on her desk.

A blush crept up over Olivia's face, as she felt Nick's hot breath collide with her ear and a rush of heat shot to her core. _Damn him_, she thought, _I'm going to get him back later - in bed_, as she composed herself.

Just as she opened her mouth to fire off another quip, Cragen's door swung open and he stuck his head out of his office. His eyes scanned the floor and zeroed in on Olivia.

"Benson, I need to see you in my office, now." Cragen said in his no-nonsense tone. Judging from the stern look on his face, whatever he had to say to her was pretty important.

_Fuck! _she thought to herself_, What the hell did I do now?_ She sighed as she got up from her chair. Nick flashed her a confused look, but she just shrugged her shoulders and walked towards Cragen's office.

"Looks like Dad's got a bone to pick with you," Fin laughed, clearly amused with himself. Olivia shot him a look and kept walking.

She hesitantly stepped inside Cragen's office and shut the door. "What's up, Cap?"

Cragen narrowed his eyes at Olivia; his poker face gave no clues as to what he summoned her for. "Liv, please have a seat." Seeing the worried expression on her face, he softened his tone, "Relax, this is news that you won't be upset about, I promise."

She nodded and sat down, trying to keep her demeanor calm and cool, as dozens of thoughts raced through her mind. Her fidgety hands betrayed her facade.

"Remember the captain's exam that you took last month? Well, I never told you, but you aced the test with flying colors."

A look of shock came over her face, as she stared at him, her mouth slightly ajar. "Oh, wow, that was unexpected, since I really didn't prep for the exam. Look Captain, I took that exam on a dare from Fin and Munch. Fin said even though I had passed the lieutenant's exam on the first try, there was no way I could pass the captain's exam that easily."

His eyebrows furrowed, as the deep creases in his forehead became even deeper. "Liv, let me ask you, why didn't you ever become a lieutenant?" Cragen asked, studying her face, "I mean besides Munch, you've been here the longest."

"What about Munch, isn't he next in line for the position? He's already sergeant. I don't want to step on any toes," Liv said, careful to avoid answering his question.

"I've already talked this over with him. Munch has no desire to move further up the ranks. Or as he puts it, 'I have no desire to become a pawn in the bureaucratic bullshit world of management.' An opinion he's expressed to anyone willing to listen." Cragen said dryly. "And don't think I didn't notice that you still haven't answered my question."

She gave him a thin smile at that. _So much for trying to fool him_, she thought. "I didn't pursue the lieutenant position because I wouldn't want to supervise someone like me," she says with a throaty chuckle.

He smiled at her answer, and let out a genuine laugh of his own, before his face abruptly darkened. "Well, I think that you may reconsider your stance when you hear what I am about to tell you."

Her smile disappears and is replaced with a look of seriousness. "Captain, what's going on?"

"I'm retiring, Liv. After being a cop for over 25 years and over 14 of those years as captain, it's time for me to move on. I've wrestled with this decision for a long time, but I've recently received some news that made my decision easier to make." Cragen says with a cryptic tone.

Liv's nerves were now running on overdrive. _Oh my God,_ she thought, _What's he trying to tell me?_ She went to press him for more information, but restrained herself from speaking. He obviously had a story to tell, and she should just let him tell it.

Never one for talking about his personal life, the captain took a deep breath before beginning, "About two months ago, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 prostate cancer. Doctors are giving me a fairly optimistic outlook, provided that the cancer hasn't spread beyond the prostate. They'll have a more accurate prognosis after they've opened me up." he reveals.

Olivia's eyes fill with tears that threaten to fall, but she somehow keeps her composure. "Oh Don, I had no idea. I'm so sorry," she says. You're going to beat this, I know it. You're too stubborn to die on us," she chuckled nervously.

Don smiled at her half-hearted attempt at a joke, "Yeah, well I can assure you that this old coot still has some fight left in him; I'm not ready to go just yet. But **it is** my time to leave the force. I've been here too long, and I am way too jaded. This squad needs some new blood and a fresh perspective. Liv, I would really like for you to consider becoming captain," Cragen looked at her earnestly.

"Wouldn't I have to become a lieutenant first?" she questioned, "I mean, you can't just jump from detective to—"

Cragen cut her off, "Liv, you've already passed the lieutenant's exam, so it would be a formality at this point to give you the lieutenant ranking. But you and I both know that you're more than capable of running the show. I've already put a letter of recommendation in your file and made you a copy to keep for yourself," he says, pushing the printout on his desk towards her.

"Between your seniority and my recommendation, you should have no problem becoming the new SVU captain. Are you willing to at least consider the opportunity?"

For once, Olivia was truly at a loss for words. She felt a range of emotions at the moment: sadness (for Cragen's condition and the fact that he was stepping down), doubt, anxiety, but also hope. Although Olivia loved helping the victims get justice, and taking men, like her father, off the streets, she knew that Cragen wasn't the only jaded cop in SVU. She had seen _way_ too many horrors, things that would cause any number of people to lose their stomach contents in under 60 seconds flat—on a daily basis. She still wanted be involved, but she didn't want to be so up close and personal—becoming captain would allow her to keep a safe distance. Plus, she would finally be able to come clean about her relationship with Nick. They had been in a relationship for months, but they had been hiding it from everyone because it violated company policy. If she became captain, they would **have** to come clean about their involvement.

_Maybe this is a good thing,_she thought, _Nick and I had agreed that we would come clean soon, and we talked about the possibility of him transferring back to Narcotics once our relationship was out in the open. Better yet, if I were captain and Nick transferred, he wouldn't have to worry about breaking in a new partner, he could team up with his old partner from Narcotics. But before I make a decision, I need to talk to Nick and—  
_

"Uh, Liv, did you hear what I said?" Cragen pulled Olivia from her thoughts.

"Hmm? Uh, sorry Cap, I was just thinking about a few things. Yes, I'll definitely consider the opportunity, I just need a few more days to mull it over, is that okay?" Olivia asked.

Cragen smiled the biggest smile that Olivia had ever seen, "A few days would be more than okay. Take longer if you need to."

Olivia smiled and they both stood up at the same time. "And Captain, I meant what I said earlier, you're going to beat this cancer," she went to hug him, but thought better of it. The captain wasn't exactly a "hug" kind of guy, even during his brief stint in jail, while being falsely accused of murder, Olivia only touched his shoulder or his arm affectionately as a sign of support. She reached out and lightly touched his arm.

Cragen stepped forward, and surprised her by pulling her into a hug. "Thank you, Olivia. I know that I can always count on you Over the years I've watched you grow into a seasoned detective. I watched you as you dedicated yourself to every case, championed for every victim, and after 14 years, this job still hasn't hardened your heart. I only hope that you will always keep your empathy intact. Even though I don't have any children, I've always viewed you like a daughter and I want you to know how proud I am of you."

Olivia pulled back from the hug and saw that Cragen's eyes began to water, and at that moment, she couldn't hold her tears back any longer. She pulled him back into a tight hug and sobbed, as she felt her tears bathe her cheeks.

**A/N: Next up, Nick reminisces about the early days of he and Olivia's relationship!**


	3. The Stakeout Catalyst (Part I)

**A/N: Hey everybody. So I finally got inspired to update the story. I just want to remind everyone that this fic is not going to be a fluffy, super lovey-dovey Nick & Liv story. This is an evolution of Nick & Liv's relationship, so you will see the full range of emotions that they feel toward one another at every stage. This chapter will give you a taste of what I mean. Also, this chapter will be intense, so I'm splitting it up into 2 parts (Part II will be longer and more passionate).**

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**Chapter 3 (Part I) - The Stakeout Catalyst**

**Present Day - February 2, 2015**

Looking at his wife at the podium fills Nick with pride. Despite her grief, she is a pillar of strength. She always gives so freely of herself to others without ever asking for anything in return. No matter what she's going through, she's always there for those who need her most— it was one of her many traits that attracted him to her.

Unlike most people that knew her, Nick saw a very different side of Olivia, a vulnerable side that she rarely showed to anyone. A side that he had come to know all too well over the past few days, as she endured waves of grief that seemed to almost engulf her at times. His heart broke for her, knowing there was nothing he could say or do to rid her of pain; so he comforted her the only way he knew how—through his touch. No matter how stressed she was, she always responded to his caresses.

Nick knew that was not always the case, and he recalls a time in the not-so-distant past when the **last** thing Olivia wanted was for him to touch her. In fact, Olivia didn't want to have much to do with him at all...

* * *

**Flashback**

**September 25, 2011 - 16th Precinct**

"Olivia, Elliot isn't coming back. If you want to stay at SVU you're going to have to start working with other detectives." Cragen said, as he ignored her hostile glare. "You can start by packing up his desk; we can't keep it as a shrine."

Her scowl only deepened as she cut her eyes at him and walked away.

Later, Cragen walked in with a full bearded and rough looking Nick Amaro, fresh from an undercover sting. Olivia gave him a once over; his eyes met hers, and his lips curved up into a small smile. She narrowed her eyes in response.

_Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Please God, don't let him be my new partner._

Cragen filled the precinct in on who Nick was, listing his many accomplishments in Narcotics.

"Well, this is a whole different world, Serpico, not everybody has a stomach for it," Benson retorted. Nick chuckled to himself and smirked as he studied the senior detective. Her eyes bore into him, and shot daggers through him.

_Wow. Looks like someone has a raging case of PMS. What the hell is her problem?_

Despite her initial disdain for him, Nick had to admit he found her fiery personality, curvaceous body and sun-kissed skin alluring. Even her scowl was sexy. He was married, but he was still a man—and he damn sure wasn't blind.

**End of first flashback.**

* * *

Her eyes.

No matter what her lips said, Olivia's eyes always told the truth. Nick learned early on in their partnership to search her deep brown orbs for answers.

He remembers the very first day that she laid eyes on him. On that day, both her eyes and her voice were in a rare sync with each other, echoing the same emotion: resentment.

Since their first encounter, her eyes expressed a range of emotions: fear (when she was held hostage), gratitude (after he saved her life), hurt (when he announced he wanted a new partner), and anger (when he confessed to her that he pulled a gun on Cassidy).

But lately, her eyes held an emotion that she rarely showed anyone: sadness.

* * *

**Flashback**

**October 15, 2012 - 16th Precinct**

Olivia entered the precinct, tired and frustrated. Nick scanned her face and sighed, he knew that she was going to be even more pissed when she discovered the day's agenda.

It was going to be a long day.

"Rough morning?"

She sighed, "More like awkward."

Nick took her heavy sighing as an invitation to press her for more information, and was about to, when Cragen came out of his office.

"Benson. Amaro. I need you two on a stakeout in Alphabet City. The Chelsea Rapist has switched gears and has started attacking downtown, Head over to 510 between E 11th St and E12th St."

Olivia groaned, looking more irritated than before, just as Nick had predicted. _As if it were possible for this day to get any worse._

"Hmmm, looks like I'll have plenty of time to grill her in the squad car." he thought to himself, when he suddenly saw a set of keys flying through the air.

"You drive," Olivia said, as she slid into the passenger seat.

"Alright, but before we do anything, let's get you some coffee. I think you'd feel a lot better with a little caffeine in your veins."

Olivia rolled her eyes and mock punched his arm. "Thanks, Nick. Way to make me feel like an addict." Her eyes faltered a bit, and her face became more serious, "Sorry about my attitude earlier, I was in a bit of a funk this morning."

Nick parallel parked in front of the diner and gave her a small smile. "No worries. You can tell me all about what's bugging you after we fuel up."

Olivia rubbed the back of her neck and looked uneasy, "Uhh..yeah sure...maybe later. Right now though, coffee is the only thing on my mind. Jeez, I really do sound like an addict, huh?" she muttered.

"Just remember, you said it, I didn't." Nick smirked. He made a mental note of how uncomfortable she looked at his earlier question.

They ran into the diner and grabbed two coffees and bagels, one with cream cheese for him and one with butter and strawberry jam for her.

Nick got back into the car and passed the coffees to Liv. She took off the lid and paused to inhale the heavenly aroma, before taking a sip. Nick, in typical man fashion, wolfed down his bagel and drained his coffee in about five minutes flat, before he hauled ass to the crime scene.

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**A/N: I will update as soon as I can. While you're waiting for the next chappie, why not take a gander at my other fic, "A Bensaro Tale: 25 Vignettes." The format may be a little different than what you're used to, but give it a try, you may find that you like it.**

**Shameless plug, yes, I know. I'm proud to say that I'm not above that, lol.**


	4. Chapter 3 (Part II)

**Chapter 3 - The Stakeout Catalyst (Part II)**

The squad car became Nick and Olivia's temporary home, as they camped out in front of the building over the next 12 hours. As the sky darkened, the winter air assaulted them; its wind cold and harsh. Nick and Olivia had to keep the car turned off to be inconspicuous, but despite their North Face down coats and fleece winter gear, they were both frigid.

"Liv, if you're cold, I can call Amanda. She's in the neighborhood visiting a friend, and she offered to make a hot food and drink run for us."

"Nick, I'm not that cold. I'm good." she said, not sure if she was trying to convince him or herself at this point.

"Seriously, Liv? I can barely hear myself think over your teeth chattering. Just admit it, you're freezing. I admit that I'm cold too. So should I call Amanda or what?"

She gave him a small smile, "Yeah, go ahead. I don't know who I was trying to fool, it's fucking brick in here." She slid closer to Nick; the movement didn't go unnoticed by him. He called Amanda and quickly put in an order for them.

He turned back to her, "Since we can't turn the car on, we should use our body heat to keep warm," he smirked, trying to appear nonchalant, even though his heart was pounding loud enough to make his ears ring. Emotionally, he and Liv were still on shaky ground after he pulled a gun on Cassidy in a paranoia-induced haze. After such a colossal cluster fuck, you'd think he would learn to tread carefully where Olivia was concerned – but not Amaro. He followed up threatening a fellow officer with alienating his partner, by putting in a partner switch behind her back. He sighed as he reflected on his recent, shady behavior. _Way to stay classy, Nick,_ he chided himself.

Physically, however, Nick knew _exactly_ where he stood – he was very attracted to his partner. He knew it was wrong, which of course turned him on even more. After he separated with Maria, he began putting in longer hours to take his mind off his crumbling marriage, at least that's what he told himself. Truth be told, he wanted to spend more time at the precinct because he knew _she_ always worked late.

He gazed at her beautiful face; he was grateful she was bundled up at the moment, it prevented him from seeing her hourglass figure, with those ample hips, heaving chest and that ass—he secretly wanted to grab a cheek with each hand and give her a firm squeeze.

He could feel himself rise, and his pants tightened. _Fuck!_ he yelled to himself. _Get it together, Chico. You're a grown man, not a hormonal teenager._

Liv looked at the corner of her eye at him and gave him a sly smile. "Body heat, huh?" she said, unconvinced.

"What?! It's a scientific fact. Don't tell me you don't believe in science?"

"You're just a regular Bill Nye, aren't you Nick?" Liv teased, but inched closer to him. "Alright, it's worth a try. I'm so cold I feel like I'm going to lose a toe or a finger at any moment."

Liv feigned indifference, but what Nick didn't know was that she found him to be all kinds of sexy. She knew she shouldn't be lusting after her partner. Even when she thought he was being a complete ass, which was usually 50% of the time, he had such a charming way about him – and his boyish smile was positively devastating. But she still didn't fully trust him after the recent turn of events.

She licked her lips, and nodded her consent. He took her hands in his, and lightly rubbed them to generate some heat. Her hands were cold but soft at the same time. He cupped his hands over hers and brought them to his mouth, as he blew hot air onto them to speed up the warming process.

While Nick was busy performing his duty as the human furnace, Olivia's eyes flicked up towards him. His calloused hands were rough against her smooth ones, and the heat of his breath sent shivers down her skin. She began to rub her thighs together and felt a heat building up, as a blast of warmth shot to her core.

_Fuck!_ she screamed to herself, _What am I doing? I'm a grown woman, not some sex-obsessed teenager_._ This is my partner, not a hot piece of ass in a random bar._ Her head was screaming at her, but her body was operating on a different frequency and responding to its own logic, and she felt a small pool growing between her legs.

Nick, completely oblivious to Liv's inner monologue and internal tug-of-war, finally looked up at her, satisfied with her increased body temperature. He noticed her chewing on her lower lip.

"Uh, Liv, you okay over there? You're chewing on your lip like it's a ribeye."

Nick's voice brought her out of her semi ecstasy state. "Hmm...yeah, I'm fine, just thinking about the case," she lied.

He nodded, pretending like he was also preoccupied with the real reason for their stakeout. He could tell that something was on her mind – and it wasn't SVU related.

"So, what was with you this morning? You were pretty crabby – even by normal Benson standards."

Liv let out a deep, throaty chuckle, and Nick felt a stirring in his crotch. _God, she was sexy without even trying to be_, he thought.

"You looking to get your ass kicked, Amaro?" she sassed. "Let's just say giving your date the AM brushoff always makes for awkward mornings." Liv sighed.

"Who was the unlucky victim? Did I know him?"

Liv sighed again, louder this time, and went to to answer him, before shutting her mouth at the last minute.

"Liv, we're partners, you know you can trust me. Your confession will never leave this car, I swear."

She nodded, though she was still somewhat guarded, "It was Cassidy."

A look of pure shock came over his face and he felt an inexplicable twinge of jealousy. "Wait, Cassidy...as in Brian Cassidy? No offense, but don't you think that you can do better than him?

Olivia was quiet for a couple of minutes, and when she looked at Nick, her eyes flashed a silent rage.

"Yes, that Brian Cassidy, you remember him, the guy you pulled a gun on," she sneered. For your information, Brian is a great guy, but his long-time undercover assignments have changed him; they've hardened him. We just aren't...why am I even telling you this? You despise him, and you'll never see him as anything more than scum!" she spat. She was furious; the erotic heat that had crept into her cheeks, was now replaced with a flush of anger.

"Well it looks like one good thing came out of this conversation, you look a hell of a lot warmer than you did before, he said half laughing. She responded with a venom-laced glare.

_Way to go, Amaro. Another fucking home run_, he sighed.

"Liv, I'm sorry. You should know by now that I suffer from extreme foot-in-mouth disease, he said fishing for a laugh. When he didn't receive one, he took on a more sincere tone. "For the record, I don't think Cassidy's scum. I was dead wrong for what I did, and no amount of apologies can ever erase that," he said and hung his head in shame.

She looked up at him, struck by his sincerity. She studied his body language, as he continued to stare at his lap, apparently fascinated with the sight of his hands. She took his hand into hers, and gave it a light squeeze. "I know you're a good guy, Nick, and as much as you enraged me by holding a gun to Brian's head, I know you wouldn't have pulled the trigger."

Nick swallowed hard and nodded, staring at their conjoined hands. His heart sounded like thunder crashing into his ears. They rang so loudly, he thought blood was going to ooze out of them. He rubbed a thumb against the soft folds of her palm and brought his eyes to meet her gaze.

Liv licked her lips; her throat was so dry she could have started a fire just by coughing. She tried to swallow, but the saliva was frozen in the back of her throat. She reluctantly withdrew her hand, but kept her gaze steady. "Even though I know you wouldn't hurt Brian, after your request for a partner switch, I'd be lying if I said that I completely trusted you."

He gave her a sad smile. "Yeah, I understand. I know I don't deserve your trust right now. But I promise Liv, I'll work hard to earn you."

Liv gave him a strange look at his words. _Earn me? He must mean earn my trust_, she thought as her brain tried to make sense of the context. But deep down, Liv knew her mind was trying to fill in the blanks with any logic it could grasp – no matter how thin. She knew that she had to believe this lie, because the underlying truth of his statement was far too complicated to consider.

**A/N: This is the end of Chapter 3 (Part II). There WILL be a Part III to this chapter, and I really kick up the heat in the last installment! On a side note, the "earn you" quote is from ABC's _Scandal_, when Olivia said to Fitz: "If you want me, EARN ME." As always, reviews are love. If you do leave a review, can you guys please do me a favor and tell me something specific about the fic that you liked (or didn't like) - I welcome CONSTRUCTIVE criticism; I am always striving to improve my writing.**

**Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 3 (Part III)

**Chapter 3 (Part III) - The Stakeout Catalyst**

**A/N: For the purpose of this fanfic, I am going to make Olivia 42 in this 2012 flashback instead of 44 (as referenced on the character's wiki page). This means that Olivia will be 45 in the present (which in this story is 2015). I couldn't find Nick's age, so I am going to make him a little younger than Danny Pino; he'll be 36 in this flashback (39 in the present).**

Nick looked away, but he could almost hear her brain working overtime to decipher his words.

_I'll do my best to earn you_, he thought to himself, sounding out each word in his head like a child learning to read for the first time. The more he recalled his words, the more he wanted to facepalm himself for being so careless. _Note to self: Never make a vague statement to a cop. Especially to a detective, and definitely not to a senior detective._ He knew she would obsess over it until she found an answer.

He wondered how long it would take her to figure it out. By the way she was dissecting him with her eyes, he guessed it wouldn't be too long.

He sighed and turned to face her, tired of feeling like a lab specimen. "Liv, if you're trying to make me feel uncomfortable—you're doing a bang-up job," he deadpanned.

His sarcasm bought her out of a trance, and she looked away for a moment, not wanting to make their close quarters awkward—after all, they were only halfway through their stakeout.

"Sorry. Just trying to make sense of what you said in my head," Olivia said, not looking the least bit apologetic. She looked him right in the eye, "What did you mean by that bit about working hard to earn me? Am I some sort of prize or something?"

Nick's jaw almost dropped at how dead-on her interpretation was, but he couldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing she'd hit the nail on the head. He did his best to remove all traces of emotion from his face—a tactic that he used during interrogations.

"C'mon Liv, you're reading too much into this. I meant **earn** your trust. It just came out wrong, is all."

She eyed him a bit more at that, scanning his face for clues, but Nick's face was a blank mask. She turned her head to look out the window. "You may think you're slick, Amaro," she said, still gazing out the window,"but I know that you're hiding something..." her voice trailed off a bit.

Olivia thought back to the last person that kept things from her, and her thoughts grew dark. Elliot. He was a fucking champ at keeping his own private life a secret. But while** his** daily sagas were off-limits, he had no problem prying into hers. Or giving her advice, whether she thought it was good for her or not. In fact, Elliot cared little about other people's opinions when he was in lecture mode. He tended to preach his "sermon" like a pastor behind a pulpit on Sunday morning.

"Sanctimonious bastard," she mumbled and emitted a low, bitter chuckle. It's too bad he couldn't direct his "insightful" observations inward. Or sit on some shrink's couch to systematically cool his rage in therapy.

But in the end, for all of Elliot's "helpfulness," he could never follow his own advice, and he let his anger simmer for years, until the day it came to a raging boil. Ironically, his temper was not a factor on the day he shot and killed a teenaged girl.

Twelve years, she thought to herself. Twelve fucking years they were partners, and she hadn't gotten so as much a text from him when it was all said and done. Aside from the military chain he sent her, he vanished without a trace. Like all the men in her life had.

Olivia hated secrets. But Nick's secret was intriguing. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. If she didn't know any better, she would say there was an underlying sexual meaning behind his words. Olivia shook the idea from her mind; it was ludicrous to even consider. He was her partner. He was 6 years younger than her, that alone was a major deal breaker. _Wait, why am I using the word deal breaker? Why the hell am I even considering the possibility? It's out of the question. Period. End of story. I mean, it has to be, right?_

_Right?_

Nick looked over at her and narrowed his eyes. She had been silent for a while, and was living in her own world. Her brow furrowed back and forth, and confusion was etched across her face. He knew when Olivia was quiet, it was always for a reason.

There wasn't a break in their case, so he knew whatever was on her mind had nothing to do with work, which made him all the more curious.

In many ways, Nick was very intuitive—much more than the average male. Maybe it was because he was raised in a household of women; maybe it because he was a cop. Perhaps it was a bit of both; either way, he knew when to trust his gut.

And his gut was screaming at him that something was off.

"Everything alright over on Planet Benson?" he said, trying to lighten the mood.

And just like that, Olivia snapped back to reality. She looked up and saw Nick staring at her with a mixture of curiosity and concern. Her breath hitched in her throat. His intense gaze made her panic, and for a second, she thought he could hear her thoughts. She almost laughed out loud at how ridiculous she was being, but held back the giggle for fear that he would think she really_ was_ nuts. He was already eyeing her like she was cuckoo (but not for Cocoa Puffs).

Olivia looked up at the roof of the car for a few seconds, and let a long sigh escape from her lips before she turned to look in his direction. Her eyes darted down for a bit before she looked him in the eye. Nick made a mental note of her facial changes.

_Looks like I 'm not the only one with a secret_, he mused.

"I'm OK, Nick, just reminiscing about the SVU of days past."

"From your tone, they don't sound like happy memories."

"No. Yes. I mean yes and no. It's complicated."

"So uncomplicate it." he challenged.

Olivia arched her eyebrow, surprised at his boldness. She had to admit she'd grown closer to him in the year that they had worked together. Even though their partnership had endured a lot of hard knocks, they were in a good place. But he was pushing it.

"Nick, I know you mean well, but don't." her tone was even, but held a hint of a warning.

"Liv, you and I have been partners for over a year now. Is it so bad that I want to understand you, the **real** you? You should know by now that you can trust me."

"Can I? I mean you did ask for a partner switch behind my back and-"

He cut her off, "Liv, I know that wasn't my proudest moment. I allowed my emotions to take over; you know I'm better than that. I always have your back. I saved your life, remember?"

Olivia felt a twinge of guilt. She looked at Nick's earnest face. She stared deeply into his puppy dog eyes; he just wanted to get to know her. He was right; his request wasn't unreasonable. But Olivia was a private person. She wasn't ready to peel back all the onion layers just yet.

"I...I'm not sure this is the right time. I just don't know if...may..maybe another time, OK?"

Nick's face faltered a bit, but he kept his expression steady. "No worries, Liv. You'll tell me when you're ready." He managed to smile and frown at her at the same time.

Olivia saw his lips turn slightly down at the corners of his mouth. It was subtle; anyone else would have missed it. But Olivia wasn't just anyone. She was his partner. She noticed everything about him._ Lately, a little too much,_ she chided herself.

Olivia used to always compare Nick to Elliot, because she was convinced that no one else could measure up. She resented him at first, because he wasn't Elliot. She was grieving the death of her old partnership during the first few months of her new partnership—there was something so fundamentally fucked up about that scenario. She didn't even get a transition period. It wasn't fair. But Olivia knew that life was anything but fair. After all, her mere existence was based on life's cruel inequalities—a fact that her mother reminded her of as often as she could.

Olivia realized that she had praised the wrong partner. If anything, she should have compared Elliot to Nick. Was Nick perfect? Of course not. In many ways he mirrored Stabler. He was haughty, deeply religious (which was often the cause for his self-righteousness), and when he thought he was right, he could be an arrogant son-of-a-bitch, complete with a smirk that you wanted to slap right off his face.

But Nick exposed his emotions to her in a way that Elliot never dared to. He wasn't afraid to show her that he cared. Whether it was holding her hand for support or gently guiding the small of her back when they were working a case, he displayed a vulnerability that Elliot never did-he let her in from the beginning. Even now, as disappointed as he was at that moment, he didn't pressure her into telling him what was on her mind. He didn't push her. He just let her...be.

She decided that it was her turn to let Nick in.

"I was thinking about my old partner," she blurted out. She saw his face fall a little more and quickly added, "And remembering what an asshole he could be."

Nick couldn't help but laugh at that before he reached for his water bottle and took a sip. He looked at Olivia, and his eyes danced with gratitude—words weren't needed at that moment. They both knew that this was another milestone in their relationship.

"I'm glad that we got over our issues. You're a good partner, Nick. I meant that when you saved my life. And I mean that now. You're a **good** partner. Better than good, in fact. Great."

Nick felt his face getting warm, as a scarlet hue crept into his cheeks. He wasn't the kind of man to blush, but the sincerity of her words touched him. And the fact that these words were coming out of the mouth of his smoking hot partner didn't hurt either.

But Olivia wasn't done yet. Maybe she was caught up in the moment and drunk on emotion, maybe she was acting on her not-so-hidden desires for her partner. She grasped his hand in hers; her touch was soft, feminine; her movements deliberate. She looked at their two hands, olive skin upon olive skin, then deep into his dark eyes; eyes whose color mirrored her own. She licked her lips, as she prepared herself for her moment of truth.

"It took Elliot leaving for me to discover what a real partner is," she confessed, and she could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes. She tried to will them back, but one managed to escape and trailed down her cheek. Her walls were splintering, the same walls that she spent decades building up and reinforcing around her. The dam of tears that she held back for the past year overflowed and streamed down her face.

Olivia Benson had become unglued.

Nick watched the scene unfold before him in complete shock. He knew that the waves of emotion that engulfed her wasn't just from today. These were feelings that she had pushed deep down long ago, and they picked this exact moment to resurface. He wanted to see a softer side of her, but he never wanted to see this. She was broken. He felt a little nauseous and guilty for probing.

There was only way he could make it right.

He inched slowly towards her and wrapped his arms tight around her as best as he could from the driver's seat. She tensed a bit at first, and then relaxed, sobbing even harder before tucking the side of her face into the crook of his neck, and bringing her arms around him.

They remained like this for many minutes; partners locked in a lovers' embrace. She lifted up her head noticing the tear-soaked spot where her face had been just moments before.

"Your coat, I'm sorry. In this weather, the last thing you need to be is wet." She reached for the stack of napkins from the diner and began to blot the moisture from his parka.

He gently took her wrists and stilled her movements. He wanted to let her know it was OK to expose her feelings, she could drop her 'Badass Benson' demeanor for one night. With him, she could just be Olivia.

He cupped her face in his hands, and wiped her tear-stained cheeks with his thumbs. He watched her closely; she looked surprised, but she didn't pull back. He then dipped his head low and kissed her right cheek, tasting the salt from the tears. His kisses trailed down her jaw until they reached her lips. He looked up at her, asking if he should keep going with his eyes. He didn't want her to think he was taking advantage of the situation. When he looked up at her, any trace of sadness in her eyes was replaced with pure, unadulterated lust. Her dark orbs bore into his and spoke volumes; she wanted this.

She wanted him.

_Holy Shit!_ He felt himself instantly harden. He lunged for her mouth and attacked her lips. Despite the cold, her mouth was on fire. She kissed him with passion, and her tongue darted out to part his lips even wider. His tongue plunged into her mouth and locked with hers, dueling for dominance.

He grabbed the back of her neck and deepened this kiss, trying to devour her lips. She moaned softly into his mouth, and Nick lost it. He thrust against her thigh as he kissed her. Olivia's eyes widened at the sensation of his member rubbing against her. His dick felt like a concrete pole against her leg. _Oh God, he feels so good_. She opened her legs to allow him better access and moaned again into their kiss.

He moved his mouth away from hers and latched onto her neck, as his hands traveled down to her ass. Firm and full—each cheek was more than a handful. He gave them both a firm squeeze. _Fuck, she feels amazing. Better than in any of my fantasies._ He began bringing his hands up underneath her coat to claim her breasts, when a sharp knock on the car window brought Olivia and Nick crashing back to reality.

**A/N: Dum...dum...dum! Yes, I am evil to end this chapter like this. And yes...there will be a Part IV, geez, it's seems like this chapter will never end, huh? Sorry for the delayed updates; I've been crazy busy. But maybe, just maybe, if you guys go a little crazy with the reviews, I might get inspired to update a little faster...**


	6. Chapter 3 (Part IV)

**A/N: A special thanks to addictedtolove92 and LivCassidy for critiquing these last two chapters!**

There was a collective gasp, as Nick and Olivia tore themselves apart from each other. Nick banged the back of his head against the window. Olivia zipped up her coat with lightening speed, smoothed down her hair and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Both greedily sucked air into their oxygen-deprived lungs. Fortunately for them, they were in an undercover squad car with tinted windows; they could see out, but no one could see in. He could make out Amanda's ponytail and silhouette through the glass._ Dammit, Rollins. Your timing couldn't be any worse_. Nick put his hand over his racing heart and tried to calm himself down. He looked over at Olivia's still flushed face. His eyes scanned hers, looking for anything that resembled regret, when Olivia suddenly turned her head from him and looked straight ahead._ Awesome, _he thought_, This isn't going to be at all awkward once Amanda leaves. Nope, not one bit._

"Ready Liv?" he asked, with his finger on the window button; she gave a firm nod, her head still facing forward.

He sighed and rolled down the window.

"Damn Amaro, took you long enough. Did I interrupt your beauty sleep?" she smirked and peered inside the cruiser. Nothing looked out of the ordinary inside the car. She looked from Nick to Olivia. The tension in the air was palpable. Olivia flashed her a forced smile, and Nick looked normal, cranky, but normal.

To a casual onlooker, the redness in Olivia's cheeks, appeared to be related to the weather—but not to a detective. Olivia wasn't shivering, and she didn't look cold. In fact, Amanda could have sworn that she saw a thin sheen of sweat across her hairline. _I must be more buzzed than I thought; there's no way Liv could be sweating in a car in the middle of winter!_

"Your diner angel comes bearing paninis, hot soups and coffee from the java gods" she said, giggling at her own joke. Nick just glared at her.

"I would've thought you two would have ripped the bags from my hands and gone into a feeding frenzy by now. Instead I just get the stink eye," she said motioning to Nick.

Nick realized what an ass he was being. It wasn't Amanda's fault that she had picked the absolute worst moment to deliver their food. Food that _he_ asked her to bring. He fixed his face into a smile.

"Sorry, Amanda. Trust me, I'm very grateful for the hot food and coffee. It's just before you came by I was...taking a nap." _Well, that was partially true_, he thought. _I was laying in a horizontal position._

"Yeah, I was about to ask you what happened to your face," she pointed to the welt on his cheek.

"Fell asleep on the seat belt buckle. Occupational hazard," he joked, remembering how he really got the welt. He gave Olivia a sly look. She made brief eye contact with him, before resuming her original position.

"Okay, well I'm going to go and let you two get back to whatever it is that I...interrupted," she said, sensing the friction between the two.

Nick's eyes widened slightly._ Oh Shit! Did Rollins suspect something?_ He decided to play it cool—a little too cool—and rolled his eyes, feigning irritation. "You didn't interrupt anything. What could possibly be going on between us right now? In case you hadn't noticed, we're on a stakeout."

Amanda squinted at him and cocked her head to the side. "No need to get your panties in a bunch, princess. It was just an observation. There's a strange vibe between the two of you that wasn't there before you left the precinct." Amanda said, emphasizing the word 'before.' Her subtlety was smooth as a train wreck. "It's none of my damn business anyway. It's just an-"

"Yeah, I know. An observation." Nick retorted.

This time Amanda turned and visibly narrowed her eyes at him, her anger boiling over. "Look, Amaro" she spat, "If I knew that I was going to get lip from you, I would've taken my tipsy ass home instead of freezing it off doing **you** a favor. If you want to act like a prick, do so on your own watch—not on mine."

Nick winced at her sharp tongue. He knew he had to tone his attitude down; Amanda had a temper that rivaled his when provoked. The last thing he need was two angry female detectives on his hands. He stole another sideways glance at Olivia, but she remained stoic and frozen. He put up his hands to surrender. "OK Rollins, you win. I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't even be here if I hadn't called you."

That seemed to be the answer Amanda was looking for, and she smirked, "Damn right, Amaro. Now if you kids will excuse me, it's time for me to sleep off my impending hangover. Later y'all." She waved at Nick and Olivia and fled down the street as fast as her high heels could take her.

Nick sighed and felt the awkwardness creep in. _Just the two of us_. "Liv, I-"

She put her hand up and silenced him; her lips drawn in a tight line. "What happened earlier shouldn't have. You're my partner. It was wrong and it doesn't go further than this. Agreed?" her speech was clipped.

Nick hated how easily she could slip into "cop" mode. It was infuriating how cool she was, like he hadn't been in between her legs, grinding against her less than a half hour before.

He could have just agreed and gone along with the ruse, but he decided not to punk out and came clean instead. "Liv, you're just giving the acceptable answer, the predictable answer that's supposed to bring the both of us to our senses. Well, I don't want to come to my senses. I want to finish what we started."

Olivia envied how easily Nick could express himself. Men often had a hard time expressing their feelings. Nick had a hard time keeping them to himself.

Even if she wanted to take Nick up on his offer—and she did—Olivia was a consummate professional and a master of self-denial.

"Nick...I just can't. I've dated colleagues in the past. Remember Cassidy? Well when I first started with SVU, he and I had a one night stand. Let's say just say the awkwardness stayed with us, even after 13 years. And you know how Hayden and I turned out. So far I'm 0-2 and I'm not stepping up to the plate anytime soon."

"So you're not going to admit to it?"

She frowned, looking confused. "Admit to what?"

Nick eyed her. _She wasn't going to make this easy_. "Admit to the fact that you're just as attracted to me as I am to you."

"And what exactly will that confession accomplish?" she put back at him. "Will it prove that you're every bit the stud that you think you are? That you're smooth enough to seduce your partner."

Nick gritted his teeth. "Excuse me? If I recall correctly, you sure as hell didn't pull away or try to stop me!" he spat.

"You're right Nick, I didn't. And I also can't erase the fact that our tongues were down each others' throats, but what will admitting or denying anything really accomplish?"

"It would prove that you don't always have to play by the rules, Liv. That you don't always need to be so damn perfect."

The last sentence was more abrasive than he intended. Olivia flinched at his words, and Nick groaned at her reaction.

"Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off so harsh."

"No, Nick, you're right. I have a tendency to hide my flaws behind a polished image. It's a learned behavior," she said, her voice laced with bitterness.

Nick looked up and saw a frown cross her face. He knew she was talking about her childhood. Olivia rarely mentioned her childhood or her mother. Nick could relate; his childhood was far from a Norman Rockwell painting. While his abusive father was his bogeyman, his mother meant the world to him. Nick got the feeling that Olivia didn't have support from either of her parents. He focused his attention back on her.

Olivia could feel the heat of Nick's gaze, and almost stopped herself from talking. She didn't like talking about her mother, especially when there was such a captive audience, even if it was an audience of one. But Olivia wanted to let Nick in, much like he let her in, and though she dreaded the subject, she knew it would come up in one of their conversations sooner or later. She wrapped her hand around the car door handle for support.

"I learned from an early age to be invisible. To stay perfectly still, so as to blend into the background and not to disturb my mother. My mom was an alcoholic, and I mostly kept myself hidden, not so she wouldn't hear me, but so she wouldn't see me," her voice was on the verge of breaking.

Nick could tell by how tightly she gripped the door handle that she was trying to stay in control of her emotions. Her knuckles were almost white.

He appreciated her being more open with him, but he didn't want her to break down, like she had earlier. He didn't think either one of them—especially her—could take it. He reached for her hand, much like she had earlier, and gave it a light squeeze in a show of support.

She didn't look at him to acknowledge the gesture, but she squeezed his hand back as a 'thank you.' She kept her focus on her story.

"My mother drank to forget the worst night of her life; one of the worst crimes that can happen to a woman. The only problem was that I was a living, daily reminder of what she wanted to erase."

She turned and searched Nick's eyes, looking for anything that resembled an understanding. She was hoping that he could read between the lines, that she wouldn't have to come out and say it. Even after all these years, revealing that she was a child of rape never got any easier.

Nick, however, looked as confused as ever. She sighed. It looked like she'd have to come clean. _And you call yourself a detective, Amaro?_

"My mother was raped, Nick. And I was born nine months later." She averted his gaze, but tightened her grip on his hand.

The light bulb went off in Nick's head. This explained so many things about Olivia. Her visceral hatred of rapists. Her strength, her deep empathy for the victims, the endless walls that she built to protect herself. And most of all, her longevity in the department. Her conception had shaped her life, her personality, her purpose.

He turned so he was facing her; she never released her hand from his, but she still refused to look at him. Her left thigh was going up and down at a mile a minute. He swallowed hard and fought the urge to still that thigh with his hand.

"Liv, there is no need to feel ashamed. I don't think of you any differently."

She turned to look at him. _Yeah, I've heard that before_, she thought, but she wasn't convinced of people's words. _You can mask the truth in your speech, but not in your eyes—never in your eyes_. She searched his like a hawk scanning the terrain for prey. On the rare occasion that she told her tale of woe, she was usually met with an array of emotions from people, ranging from pity and shock to revulsion. Friends, even lovers reacted in the same way. Of course their voices didn't reveal how they felt, but their eyes always betrayed them.

But Nick's eyes weren't filled with pity, only empathy. It was if he understood. She hoped that was how he felt, and not just what she wanted to see. Her eyes fell away from his for a second time.

She soon got her answer. He placed his finger beneath her chin and tilted her head up. "You are more than your DNA, Liv. You're an amazing woman and a bad-ass cop. You turned a childhood that would have crippled most people into a mission to take men like your father off of the streets and champion for victims like your mother. I get it, because every time we take an abusive husband or boyfriend off the street, it's like I'm saving my mother from my father all over again."

Olivia eyes widened; she had no idea about Nick's childhood. She squeezed his hand and rubbed her thumb along his knuckles. "I guess we _all_ have our demons. Sometimes I need to be reminded of that," she smiled at him.

He gave her a sheepish grin of his own. "Yeah, we all need a reminder every now and then. You're not alone, Liv. We're all a little fucked up to varying degrees. The only people with perfect childhood's and families are the people on television."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Sometimes, I...I just wish that I had a positive male influence in my life growing up. My mother thought the absolute worst about men, and she raised me to believe they were no good. A male role model would've given me a chance at a healthy relationship with men. The longest relationship I ever had with a man had no chance of a romantic ending."

Nick bristled at the mention of her former partner. "How long were you and what's his name partners, again?"

"His name is Elliot Stabler. And we were partners for 12 years before he went MIA."

"I don't care what his name is, he's a fucking prick for abandoning you like that."

Olivia's eyes burned with anger, "Hey, _you_ don't get to talk about him like that. Yes, he's a first class asshole for how he left, but he was a good man and a good partner. He was my best friend for over a decade and besides this job, he was the only constant in my life. He gave me the stability that I never had growing up."

Nick's animosity towards Elliot softened at her words. "Were you in love with him?" he asked and felt a pang of jealousy.

Olivia sighed and looked down at her hands. She wasn't even sure what the answer to that question was anymore. At one point she thought she did, but then again, how hard is it to feel that way about someone when you know nothing will ever materialize? Deep down, she always felt more of a brother-sister bond with Elliot more than anything else.

"I thought I was. I convinced myself that it was love at one point, but it was never more than platonic. In a lot of ways my relationship with Elliot helped me and hurt me with men. With him, I learned to form a close, trusting bond with the opposite sex, but our partnership never allowed me to pursue a relationship. Our bond was very co-dependent, and he often intruded in my personal life. Sometimes he ran background checks on my boyfriends."

Nick laughed. "Wow, what a psycho," but inside he breathed a sigh of relief that her feelings for her former partner didn't run deeper.

She shook her head. "No, not a psycho, just over protective. But for a while he was one of the few people that had my back. And I'll always love him for that."

"Seems like Stabler got some things right, but there's one lesson that I can teach you that he never could."

Olivia raised an eyebrow and a smirk spread across her face. "Oh, and what's that?"

He released her hand and brought his hand slowly up her arm. The blistering heat of his palm caused her skin to shiver. He looked into her eyes, "I'll teach you that not all men run." he said with steely conviction. He looked at her face and saw a flicker of hope dance across her eyes. He cupped her neck and brought her face down to his, claiming her mouth for the second time that night.


End file.
